Lessons along the way, Part 1.
by Creative Food Therapy
I’ve learned that you must love yourself completely first if you ever truly plan on loving anyone as much or more. It may not seem like it at the time but by doing otherwise you are doing a serious in justice to those you choose to be with and around. Your relationships will strain and end in torment because of your dishonesty to yourself, your insecurities and lack of self worth.
I’ve learned never look to others for approval. No one can provide that great of an appreciation as you can for yourself.
I’ve learned The Golden Rule has its name because it really is just that! Please, PLEASE think before you act. Always treat others the way you wish to be treated. Or you can think of it this way, treat others the way you’d have those you cherish treated. Because I have learned this one myself in the hardest way, you may not believe in karma but that doesn’t matter, because it believes in you.
I’ve learned that some people are so broken, you could offer them the best love and care that exists, the perfect life and they would still walk away because they don’t have the ability to see past their own hurt. The old cliche is true in these cases, it is never about you. They need to heal, and if you have attracted them, then apparently in some way so do you.
I’ve also learned that there are people who will hurt you, not because of who you are or are not, but because they believe they will never be good enough.
I’ve learned that if someone has to tell you how great they are, they need to be helped. These people usually are the ones with the false sense of pride and over indulged ego. Chances are you have tried to help them already and lost a great deal, so move On! You can only help someone as much as they are willing to allow it.
I’ve learned that I believe in a ‘Source’ of that which we have been created. I’ve also learned that it doesn’t matter what you call it, or how you celebrate it, as long as you celebrate it. A prayer is simply a desire, a need. If you send it out to the universe, have hope, work your butt off in the meantime, and have faith, it will come back to you, and it will eventually. Call it religion call it spiritualism, as long as you believe.
I’ve learned do not judge people according to their appearance.
I’ve learned that some people, if they think they can get away with it, will do you injustice behind your back. Don’t be afraid to love, but at the same time, there is nothing wrong with protecting your heart. Go with your intuition. I promise it is never wrong.
I’ve learned honesty can fix ANYTHING. No matter how horrific or amazing the immediate outcome of the situation, It will bring you and all those affected to a better place eventually.
I’ve learned when you say I love you, mean it.
I’ve learned to stop making excuses for those who have harmed us. We can not control their actions, nor should we wish to. We can only control ours. Besides, if someone has it in them to hurt us, we can do better.
I have been lucky enough to learn that those truly worth suffering for will never allow you to suffer. They will do whatever it takes to fix it or have the strength of love to leave, taking the hurt with them rather then have the one they love hurt. Everyone and every situation is a form of karmic relation, so ‘suffering’ to a degree is necessary for our spiritual evolution. However, if the suffering gets in the way of our growth, if it leads to mental or physical discomfort or illness, then the suffering is in fact unnecessary and can be changed.
I’ve learned, unfortunately, that there are true forms of evil. I’ve seen it three times in my life. Careful who or what you allow into your life, because it’s precious.
I’ve learned how to never ever let anyone dictate whether you can or can not do something. Follow your life’s passion. You will be a better person for it.
I’ve learned that walking into a room with all my screaming cheering baby cousins in it and having them wrap their small arms around my neck is the best therapy there is. Whether its a bad day, week, month or year. A child’s love is the purest form of love you’ll ever feel.
I’ve learn to be grateful, and funny enough its been through some of the toughest times in my life.
I’ve learned that age doesn’t necessarily bring wisdom for everyone. Wisdom comes through life and its experiences. From failing over and over again only to get back up. Fear is crippling and if you let it get the best of you, you will end up having regrets and a lifetime of choices made on just getting by. Challenge yourself everyday!
I’ve learned never take anything at face value, Question everything.
I’ve learned that prejudice and bigotry is something that is taught. You can’t overcome it until you acknowledge it, understand where it comes from and why.
I’ve learned it’s easier to preach to others what’s right and wrong then to follow it yourself. No one likes a hypocrite. The road is hard and its long but once you start to live the words you preach, it’s a wonderful fulfilling feeling. The minute I started taking responsibilities for my actions I began to help more people. Why? because instead of just hearing it they could see it. And that’s inspiring!
I’ve learned no matter how much it hurts, how you feel the world may be ending, how it feels as though you cant move on from that ripped relationship or broken marriage. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can or will break your heart like a death of a loved one. And there is nothing that will put your life in perspective more.
I’ve learned chivalry is mostly dead but not completely. When a gentleman opens the door for you, or gestures for you to walk first through an entryway saying “after you” with a smile, thank them most kindly and give them a smile Back. They will get it (:
I’ve learned that reckless drivers are just that, reckless and selfish. They may not have much to lose, but you and I do. So stay clear of them when ever possible.
I’ve learned that right next to love is respect. Without respect there is no love. I’ve also learned that when you truly love someone the respect comes naturally.
I’ve learned how you live your everyday, how you treat others, even how you think towards yourself and others is who you truly are. It will lead you into the person you will be.
I’ve learned how important a firm handshake is.
I’ve learned that every single action I take and move I make directly affects everyone else around me. Live your life to what you believe and you’ll never have a regret.
I’ve learned that the people we feel we need to impress the most usually are the ones not worth impressing.
I’ve learned that stress, does in fact kill. So figure out who and what is worth tour time, everything else is minuscule.
I’ve learned no matter how strong the bond you have with your mother, nothing is more comforting then her hug on a hard day.
I will sing my children and their children to sleep one day. Because I’ve learned the memory of my grandmother singing me to sleep is one of the most comforting and treasured memories I will ever have.
I’ve learned that karaoke with all your closest friends can help heal a broken heart.
I’ve learned that people will make excuses for their behavior whenever they can. We are all a result of our environment, good and bad. We have all been given choices. At some point we need to take responsibly and stop making excuses.
I’ve learned physical attraction is important but values and laughter is what gets us through life.
I’ve learned to never say too much when I am angry, words can be forgotten but can never be taken back.
I’ve learned how not to be superstitious.
I’ve learned that if I am excited about something it feels better to share it rather then keep it in.
I’ve learned clutter adds to the uneasiness we have about certain areas in our lives. And believe it or not, it makes it harder for you to know what you want. Get rid of everything you know you’ll never need and want again. Burn it, donate it or just throw it away!
Give out compliments whenever you can, and mean them!
I’ve learned that I could have a million things to do and not do any of them. But if I write what I need done on an old fashioned notepad I will get everything done in a timely fashion!
I’ve learned we are not as wise as we think we are until we can learn to take a hint.
I’ve learned we can make someone’s day by just smiling back at them.
I’ve learned I am happier when those I love are happy.
I’ve learned that if someone is hurting, sometimes it only takes being around good friends and good energy to lift their spirit, even if it’s in silence.
I’ve learned that if someone has something unkind to say, it’s ususally something in them they are unhappy or insecure with.
I’ve learned there are people who will care for you and love you that will never know how to show it, and that’s ok. But, they may not be meant to play a leading longterm role in your life either.
I’ve learned someone can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle a screaming child.
I’ve learned that we, in fact, can not know a man by the way he treats his mother.
I’ve learned that in life, we get a hell of a lot more then just one chance.
I’ve learned that if there is someone or something that you are continually searching for, stop. It will come to you when you are ready.
I’ve learned that if you send out the questions, you will get your answers. Maybe not right away, but everything you will ever need to know in this life will find you, eventually.
I’ve Learned that miracles do exist. And yes, people can make them happen too.
I’ve learned that when I am in pain, upset or angry, that it’s important not to push it onto others. Misplaced anger is a selfish thing.
I’ve learned to hug someone everyday.
And finally, I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn (:
Jennifer Santaniello © 2009