Our Lives Are Not Our Own.

“Our lives are not our own, we are bound to others, past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.”

What can be truer then the quote above?  In learning of our oneness, our eternal connection to one another, I was able to find my own divinity.   We are all intrinsically connected at our very core, which is pure, limitless, unconditional love.  From infancy and well into the first part of our young adult lives we have been shaped by our circumstances and experiences, yet there comes a time when we realize we have choices and that those choices ultimately lead us to who is we are to become.  Every act of kindness we expel shapes us, and so it is for every other act, good or bad.  How does one define what is good or bad, right and wrong?  Is it by intuition? Instinct?  Is it something we have been taught or is it a mixture of all of the above?  Can an individual be a good person and do something bad yet remain a good person, if their offense is a one time occurrence or perhaps a second time?  Is it all perception, as with everything else in life?  I truly believe that it is in the absence of this belief, the belief that at our core we are love, we are magnificent, we are all we need, and that we are pure, that leads to a disregard for life.  It is the illusion that we are separate, that we are alone and inadequate, that leaves room and allows anything other than love to enter and ultimately control our thoughts, feelings, emotions, perception and our actions.  When we forget who we are, we forget each other and this makes it easy, so very easy to commit acts of desperation, cruelty and malice towards one another and ourselves, without understanding the severity and complexity of our actions until it is too late.

“Tragedy (Ancient Greek: τραγῳδία, tragōidia, “he-goat-song”[1]) is a form of drama based on human suffering that invokes in its audience an accompanying catharsis or pleasure in the viewing.[2] While many cultures have developed forms that provoke this paradoxical response, the term tragedy often refers to a specific tradition of drama that has played a unique and important role historically in the self-definition of Western civilization.

A dramatic composition, often in verse, dealing with a serious or somber theme, typically that of a great person destined through a flaw of character or conflict with some overpowering force, as fate or society, to downfall or destruction.”

Although the degrees of which a person may define a Tragedy may vary, there is no denying its wrath when it so chooses to strike.  Are Tragedies just some other type of scene, on this enormous stage we call life?  A scene for us to observe, to process and digest, a way that wakes us up and rips us open and says, “HERE I AM, and this is what happens when I am ignored!!!!!!!!”  Are these Tragic scenes just another way for us to take away our individual lessons, as painful as they can be?  Of course we empathize and feel endless compassion for those affected by Tragedy in its many forms and yet it may seem easier to swallow, the idea that these horrible things happen for us to observe and learn from.  But, what happens when the Tragedy hits home?  This week, Tragedy struck a little bit too close to home for me.  Thankfully, not within my immediate circle of family or friends, but just outside of it and involving a person I have had the privilege to see almost everyday for the last four years.

What seemed like a normal workday on Monday quickly turned into a roller coaster of emotions including confusion, frustration, anger, denial and deep, deep sadness.  Through the course of the day we were notified that our co-worker, “M” would not be coming back to work, ever.  Out of respect for the persons involved in this Tragedy, I will spare much detail however I will say that “M” preformed a heinous, incomprehensible and unimaginable act upon someone she loves.  In fact it is the person she loved most in this world.  So, how does that work?  How is that possible?!?!  These types of questions are what’s commenly asked after such a Tragedy.  Please point me in the direction of any one person that has the answer, because I would love to hear their opinion.  My opinion?  Well, it’s complicated and simple all at the same time.  On 3D earthly level, these individuals involved in this tragedy acted upon an accumulation of the conditioning of their past and current life circumstances.  “M” was coping the best way she knew how, with the resources she was equiped from a young age, along with the abilities she picked up along her life span.  Ultimately, it wasn’t enough, and she had a break which lead to Tragedy for her and all those she loves.  Now, if we were to examine the Tragedy from a higher consciousness, 5th dimension or higher, I’d say this was the path these two souls mapped out for each other and agreed to before incarnating into this current life, a continuation of their present karmic ties and lessons needed.  3D earthly level of existance = complicated and intricate, 5th dimension and higher level of consciousness = not so complicated!

 I found with the news came a flood of questions.  Were there signs I missed?  Should we have seen this coming?  Had she called out for help and no one listened?  Is she scared, is she alone?  Is she manic? How can I help?  And then came the questions that seem to harness the most confusion.  Questions like, why do I empathize and have such compassion for someone who committed such a heinous act?  If it were anyone else, someone I hadn’t known, would I feel the same?  Would I want to pass judgment and throw insults as opposed to wanting to run up and hug them until they remember?  Because that is what I want to do.  It has been three days and it still feels like I just received the news within this very moment.  I can’t stop thinking about it.  I feel a bit drained and dazed over it all.  If I had to speculate, I’d say “M” believed in her heart (and at the time, diseased psych) that she and her loved one would be better off in another place, somewhere not of this world.  A just and fair place, a place filled with love, understanding, community, safety, and compassion.  A place where she could be heard, where her and her loved one could live in harmony without interruption or fear or a sense of inadequacy and defeat.  Perhaps the biggest Tragedy of all in this situation is that all of what “M” needed was here the whole time.  All that she needed was right where she left it, deep down inside.  It is the belief, the understanding that no matter how heartbreaking life can seem, there is always a reason and that it is so crucial, so important and so beneficial to see it through!  So many are unable to see past their own hurt, they are unable to understand that this world does not lack all of the things we need, in fact there is an abundance of it, and more, just waiting to be tapped into.  What saddened me the most here, is that “M” couldn’t see it, she couldn’t see that truth.

If you need help, seek it.  If you know someone who needs help, give it and if you can’t provide them the help they need help them to find it.  But, also remember, we can only help others to the extent of which they will allow.  As for “M”, She may not have been in her right mind at the time, but at some point, maybe many, there were times for her to seek help and so at the end of the day her tragedy is a scene she helped to create, a scene we are meant to observe and learn from.  The lessons here are endless but if I had to pluck a few from a hundred?  Remember that you are love; you are divine and magnificent and that you have everything you need right there inside of you.  Everything happens in its own time and for a reason, the best really.  Nothing is ever final, we are continuous and there is nothing in life that can ruin you unless you allow it to.  If “M” would have stepped back, or even sought help from another and realized she had options, maybe her story wouldn’t have become so Tragic.  If there is something in life that you feel could end you or be your demise, reexamine.  There are answers in everything, nothing is what it seems and there is always, always a light to our dark.

I wish peace for all souls involved is this Tragedy; may your hearts find peace.

“I believe there is another world waiting for us, a better world and I will be waiting for you there.”

I have included some links below of organizations providing help and refuge.

♥ All of my love and light ♥

Namaste

~ Jennifer

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

http://www.twloha.com/vision/

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm

http://www.lifecounseling.org/about_us.html

**Image courtesy: http://deography.com/?tag=the-triumph-and-tragedy-of-being-human**