The Shame Is Not Yours.

“Safety and security don’t just happen, they are the result of collective consensus and public investment. We owe our children, the most vulnerable citizens in our society, a life free of violence and fear.”

-Nelson Mandela

The Shame Is Not Yours, It Is Theirs.

A year and a half ago I started a journey, one of a lifetime that has led me dead center and me steadfast into what is shaping out to be the height of one of my major destiny points.  The soul work it took to get here cannot be described by words.  Interesting enough, through all of this self-work what I have found is what I have suspected all along.  It isn’t about me, it is about us.  Us, as in you and I and this entire universe.  I had my opinions but through this work I have come to realize indefinitely that our society is only as strong as our weak, our sick and our deprived.   What I mean by this is if we allow those who need help, those with mental, emotional and physical illness to remain under the radar without appropriate aid, if we continue to turn a blind eye to those creating and responsible for this trauma, we as a society will continue to suffer immensely as a whole.

In the last year and a half I have now worked in residential homes for persons with HIV and AIDS, mental illness and substance abuse.  I currently work with children of all ages who have suffered severe trauma and as a result have severe mental, emotional, behavioral, developmental and physical disabilities.  As well I now work with adult males in one of the largest jails in the world.  A commonality the individuals I have worked with and currently work with have is their history of abuse, specifically sexual abuse.  At this point I have met with hundreds of individuals in various settings and all of them have had a history of some form of abuse.  The more I work the more I find I have a common message for each individual I have come to work with, a phrase.  It is the same for all of those who never had a chance at any semblance of normal or healthy.  The message is, “The Shame Is Not Yours, It Is Theirs And It Is Not Your Fault.”

However, it’s rarely that simple.  Therapeutic bonds take time; sometimes it takes weeks, months or years to develop the trust needed for someone who has ensued trauma, to believe that kind of truth.  The truth that they didn’t ask for the pain or the betrayal at the hands of someone they often trusted.  That is wasn’t anything they did but rather a serious injustice forged upon them to hold by another who in all probability suffered trauma in their own right at the hands of another.  It is a vicious cycle and the culprit is our silence.  At some point in life we are all guilty of remaining silent at the expense of someone who needed our voice.  However this post isn’t about setting blame but it is more of a request, a plea rather, for all of us to become united as a society, to care, to care enough to speak up for ourselves and for those who have trouble speaking for themselves.  We can sit for hours and discuss the betrayal we suffer daily by our broken system of justice, metal health and so on, but unless we back our words with action towards change we will continue to be bystanders.  The only way to successfully see positive change is to become apart of it with the positive message that we will not stop until it gets better.

I believe that lack of information is a contributor to people’s indifference.  As I became more educated at the horror people have experienced and experience everyday, my empathy and compassion grew along with my will for change.  That will became action and an intent to create more change in my life and the lives of others, and now this has become a huge part of my life’s work which will grow even bigger and bigger with time.

Some of the truths I have learned were hard to believe, but that was my personal problem because whether I believed in them or not didn’t matter, these atrocities are happening everyday, every minute and every second.   Nearly five children die every day, EVERY DAY, just in America alone from abuse and neglect.  Children are suffering from a hidden epidemic of child abuse and neglect. Every year more than 3 million reports of child abuse are made in the United States involving more than 6 million children.

General Statistics

•   A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds

•   More than four children die every day as a result of child abuse.

•   It is estimated that between 50-60% of child fatalities due to maltreatment are not recorded as such on death certificates.

•   Approximately 80% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4.

•   More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way.

•   Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.

•   About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse.

•   In at least one study, about 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met criteria for at least one psychological disorder.

The estimated annual cost of child abuse and neglect in the United States for 2008 is $124 billion.

 

Child Abuse Consequences

•   Abused children are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy.

•  Abused teens are more likely to engage in sexual risk taking, putting them at greater risk for STDs.

My focus thus far through art therapy has been to work with those who have suffered trauma.  I cannot stress this truth enough, that almost every single patient, client, inmate and student I have met with that suffers from a mental, emotional or physical illness or developmental disability has at some point in their life experienced trauma, predominately sexual trauma.  Researchers have found 1 in 6 men and 1 in 5 girls have experienced abusive sexual experiences before age 18 and that is a low estimate since it doesn’t include noncontact experiences, which can also have lasting negative effects.  This means that at any given moment, if you are in a room which holds 6 men chances are one of them has been sexually abused in some form and the same for girls.  When you think of it in this context, the reality is appalling and completely unacceptable.  The consequences of these injustices, especially upon our children have severe consequences for all of us.  The patients I work with within a jail setting have mental disorders, which have played large roles in their violent and unlawful acts.  Many of these crimes committed could have been prevented if there was a system that was functional in helping those who are mentally ill.  Not just those who have money, or insurance but those who have nothing left to give.

Child Abuse & Criminal Behavior

•   More then 14% of all men in prison and more then 36% of women in prison in the USA were abused as children, about twice the frequency seen in the general population.

•   Children who experience child abuse & neglect are about 9 times more likely to become involved in criminal activity.

“In a study of young adults who suffered child abuse or neglect, 80% met criteria for at least one psychiatric disorder by age 21, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and suicide attempts.

In a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services study of homeless youth, it found that 46% of those surveyed had escaped a home where they suffered physical abuse, and 17% left because of sexual abuse.

Young people who were victims of child abuse and neglect are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancies, delinquencies, and to suffer mental health problems. They are more likely to perform lower in school, to engage in high-risk sexual behavior, and to use alcohol and illicit drugs.

According to a National Institute of Justice study, abused and neglected children were 11 times more likely to engage in criminal behavior as teens, are 2.7 times more likely to be arrested for violent and criminal behavior as an adult, and are 3.1 times more likely to be arrested for one of many forms of violent crime.

As adults

Adults who suffered child abuse and neglect can develop allergies, arthritis, asthma, bronchitis, high blood pressure, and ulcers, in addition to other physical disabilities because of poor health caused by the abuse.

Child abuse and neglect have been associated with panic and dissociative disorders, attention deficit and/or hyperactivity disorder, depression, anger, and post-traumatic stress disorder in children and in adults who suffered abuse.

Adults who were abused or neglected as children are more likely to abuse alcohol or drugs during their lifetimes. A study found that as many as two-thirds of individuals in drug treatment programs reported being abused as children.

Continuing the cycle of abuse

Researchers estimate that one-third of abused and neglected children will grow up to abuse their own children when they become parents.”

It is one thing to read about it, but through my work I have been witness to these statistics myself.  It is disheartening to see this first hand, but now that I have found art therapy and am witness to the incredible impact it has on so many every day, I know I have made the right choice in choosing a modality that can help bring about change and heal those willing to receive.  Every action towards a change in our system of recognizing the injustice preformed everyday is an action towards a better day for all.  Even if that action is speaking out, sharing this blog or having a discussion about what’s happening.  It can be uncomfortable and a lot of people may not want to hear about it but that is too bad, because those of us who are set on creating change are seeing it through, no matter how uncomfortable it may be for others or ourselves.  If the injustices of others is a soft spot for you, especially those victim to physical or emotional abuse, know that you are not alone.  There is an army of us fighting this good fight and we need more, will you join us?

“The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren,

and to do good is my religion.”

 – Thomas Paine

 

Love and Light,

Jennifer

Reporting abuse?  Find the links below:

https://www.childwelfare.gov/responding/reporting.cfm 

http://www.nyc.gov/html/acs/html/child_safety/prevent_abuse.shtml

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/children/qt/Abuse_New_York.htm

http://www.cdss.ca.gov/cdssweb/PG20.htm

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

http://www.afsp.org/

http://www.aftersilence.org/reporting-rape.php

Sources

 

http://www.safehorizon.org/index/what-we-do-2/child-abuse–incest-55/child-abuse-statistics–facts-304.html

 

http://www.childhelp-usa.com/pages/statistics

 

http://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/NCANationalStatistics

 

http://www.victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/child-sexual-abuse-statistics

 

 

 

Image Links

 

http://www.myinterestingfacts.com/child-abuse-facts/

 

http://pub209healthcultureandsociety.wikispaces.com/When+Children+Kill+-+Nature+vs.+Nurture

 

http://www.coloribus.com/adsarchive/prints/child-abuse-awareness-sitting-room-15854155/resizes/1024/

The Power Of A Year.

A year ago this month, this blog was birthed, along with a new and most beautiful part of my life and awareness. As well, I’ve had the privilege of meeting some incredible souls through this experience that have helped to change my life in the most incredible ways. When I write, when I create art, I do so with my full heart and spirit, with the greatest intentions, the upmost respect, honor, gratitude, love and light and I want to thank you for allowing me into your lives, hearts and minds. It has truly been a blessing and an honor.

I now know what it feels like to be part of a community of artist, philosophers, scholars, teachers, writers and creative geniuses whose intentions are to better the world and themselves through their hearts passions. As importantly, thank you for sharing your love, light and words with me, they have inspired me and undoubtedly allowed me to expand as a writer, artist, healer and human.

I wish every last one of you complete love, inner peace, and light. May we continue to share and aid each other along this incredible creative journey!!!!!!!!

❤ All of my love and light ❤
Jennifer

**Photo Credit: Persephone Awakening by Zabani**

I Trust You.

“Trust each other again and again. When the trust level gets high enough, people transcend apparent limits, discovering new and awesome abilities for which they were previously unaware.”  ~ David Armistead – Professor

A child is born with a knowing, an inherent trust, a love that is either both reinforced and nurtured, or stunted, unmet or even denied.  A child is born with the capacity of encompassing complete and utter trust for everyone and anything.  Its faith is birthed with its inception; it’s first heartbeat and breath.  If a child is raised with a family that has reinforced this preexisting state, this inherent trust then the child will live, move, act through this belief system, for it is given no other reason to believe otherwise.  I was reminded of this while playing games with my baby cousin of 18 months.  It became apparent to me that no matter what, she knew I would catch her, as she would leap into my arms off the bed.  Even with my back turned and in running distance, she knew I would do absolutely anything possible to be there as she leaped forward.  She never expected anything less.  She trusts me with her life completely.  This kind of love reaches deeper then any root, stretches farther then any horizon and lasts far beyond any one lifetime.

What of the kids that have never had this reinforcement?  Those who do not know what it feels like to have a love and trust behind them, to know that if they jump and when they jump there will be someone there to catch them no matter what.  Through my work I have observed the life of children who were never given a chance.  Whose pure and inherent trust was lost, when the hands expected to catch them, did not.  On the streets we see it all of the time.  I have had this discussion many times, it seems we are always privy to public displays and situations where children are being mistreated, yelled at, and cursed at, spoken down to, beat, and much worse. Many times these children are less then 8 years old.  If these parents are performing and treating their children this way publicly, can you even dare to imagine what goes on in their private lives?  Freighting.  The hurt, embarrassment and long term emotional damage is inescapable in these cases and leads to a future string of emotional and physical abuse for the innocent who have no idea how to process such harsh mistreatment and injustice.

We are the builders of our children, our children’s children and all of those connected.  We are co-creators of their character, their judgment of themselves and others, their measure and value, we help to create the system in which they use to walk through their lives and most importantly we help to build their beliefs and experiences of love and trust, not only for themselves but for all those around them.  It is our responsibility, and what many refuse to acknowledge, our privilege to nurture and raise each child with the knowing that they are eternally loved and capable of absolutely everything.

When we choose love, we are actively building a nation of children that will help to end ailments, war and many other injustices.  What so many choose to ignore is that, it starts with us.  People find it hard to conceive that we hold that much power, but we do.  These innocent, trusting children are built with everything needed to come out as pure light, loving to the up most capacity.  It is up to us to hold that light and love for them so that they can reach higher and go further then all who have come before them.

We hold the power, I trust you, I trust that you will do the right thing and love each child wholeheartedly.

“When a family is free of abuse and oppression, it can be the place where we share our deepest secrets and stand the most exposed, a place where we learn to feel distinct without being “better,” and sacrifice for others without losing ourselves.”  ~ Letty Cottin Pogrebin – Editor, Writer

Please, if you ever witness any injustice towards any child, report it, you will be saving lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Links below to those helping fight and save our children:

https://www.childwelfare.gov/responding/how.cfm

http://www.safehorizon.org/index/get-help-8/for-child-abuse-38.html

Serving Victims of Child Abuse

http://www.casaforchildren.org/site/c.mtJSJ7MPIsE/b.5301295/k.BE9A/Home.htm

http://www.childhelp.org/

Home

Love and light,

~ Jennifer

**Photo credit – http://www.multiculturalchildren.org/project-introduction-overview-2/**

Full Circle.

When we follow our hearts, when we are truest to our soul, we come to realize that our deepest wounds along with our most challenging events in life become our greatest assets.  In refusing to give up on others and ourselves, what seemingly harmed or plagued us has the potential to morph into our souls work, our mission, and our purpose.  If we are fortunate enough, we can help and teach others through our toughest life lessons.  Sometimes we are able to see our past, our struggles and pains in the people we grow to love, to teach and help.  This can bring us affirmation that every hardship, turmoil and emotional beating meant something, that it had meaning, the best really.  In essence we are able to feel as though we have come full circle, having rose up above our pain and confusion to help others do the same.

My dear friend Rod has done just that, and has blessed us with his lessons through this letter and article he has written.  My desire is that each of you reading this benefit in multiple ways, from his incredible story, experiences and words and that you pass this on to all you feel will benefit from his story.

“My baby girl was upset on the ride home, it’s too detailed to post, but I heard it in her words that she was being ’round-a-bout’ something. As soon we got home I asked, “Did you wish your dad had called you on your birthday?” She curled up into a small ball fell into my arms and cried. She just wanted him to call to show that a small part of him thinks of her, her words. That’s all. She’s been trying to be so strong and keeping it together for so long that in one question, the weight of that answer flowed out in hot tears uncontrollably.

Before this day I often imagined what I would say to my younger self to make him understand why his father wasn’t there for him. I was granted my wish. I saw so much of myself in that instance that I felt that I’ve come full circle. Thank you.

She’s such a beautiful young lady (annoying most times!) but so beautiful. I can’t understand how people can’t muster up the courage to see their kids? Just show up. It means the world to them. They can be loved by the entire world, but they will never see that if the very people they want love from don’t even acknowledge their existence.

Stop being cowards

Show up

Take your licks and take them out

Kids don’t understand the value of money

They only understand the value of attention

Just love them”

by Rod Perez

Thank you Rod, for sharing this and allowing me to post an article about your personal experiences and writing.  Thank you for being so selfless, for transcending and rising above the pain so that others may heal as well.

Please find a similar and detailed article below, written by the incredible artist and writer Rod Perez.  As well, please visit Rod’s artist link with all of his mindful and beautiful art, enjoy!

Effects of Absentee Fathers on Boys Article:

http://mybrownbaby.com/2011/11/effects-of-absentee-fathers-on-boys/

Rod Perez’s Art Link:

http://abecrod.imagekind.com/

All of my love and light,

~ Jennifer

 **Photo Credit: Art piece by Rod Perez**

Out With The Old, In With The New?

 

Commonly, each year millions of people eagerly set goals and resolutions for the New Year, which I believe to be a wonderful tradition. It is healthy to always reach higher; it reminds us of where we are, where we are going and where it is we intend to be. As well, I believe envisioning and setting forth our greatest intentions are key manifestation techniques at their finest. What doesn’t sit well with me is that New Year after New Year with certain mainstream advertising and shared company gimmicks we are asked to, “start over!” Or “start a new life!” To forget the old and start the year off as a new person! Why is that and what if I don’t want to start anew? I have a sh*t load of hard work behind me, we all do! Many choices were good and some were really bad, but it has led us to where we are today, which is exactly where we need to be. We are where we are because of every single choice, every single thought and action we have made and so I am not willing to throw that away. It is as if so many force Dissociative Amnesia with the start of a New Year and move forth with the intention to ignore what came before. However, for any who have tried this know, it is never truly possible. For those of us that have created positive change, including myself, it is because of all of our past experience and life’s hard lessons and there is beauty to be found in that. Everything has its time and the more we try to force change the opposite occurs, stagnation. Most view time as linear, but really time is cyclic. What ever has plagued us in the past, whether it is our broken relationships work or personal, abuse of substance or eating and even illness, will find its way to us until we work through it regardless of how many “New Years” we begin.

Starting anew doesn’t come with a date on the calendar, it comes within each of us the minute we realize our own power to create the change we need and desire. We don’t have to wait for a special time of year to create and become who it is we see ourselves to be. True change comes in realizing our gifts and the enormous power behind our every word, thought and action. Everything we do sets forth a ripple effect, this is something we should never want to escape for it is where we learn our most significant lessons. It is in these cycles that we are reminded of who it is we are, it is what gives us the strength to change and become our brightest selves.

2012 was a year of transformation and growth, and moving into 2013 many of us will now hold the keys to integration and balance. We are all in the process of releasing a long, long cycle with the beginning of this New Year. I myself have recently come out of an old cycle that began to self-destruct last June. Since then, I have found my hearts true passion and in doing so and taking action, it has set forth a string of incredible happenings and meetings. With so many of us entering into a new cycle at this time, we are beginning to look at ourselves, our relationships and the world around us very, very differently. It is as if the blinders have been taken off our eyes. We are realizing that the situations and people of our past are actually not what they appeared to be and although there is a sadness attached to this, we are evolving into a very, very new energy. Many of us in the next few months will begin to feel grounded and begin to feel our power more then we ever have.

Within our deepest relationships we are ready to let go of the mental fatigue we have had in all areas because there are new paths opening up for us. Some of us may feel as though parts of us have died, but at the same time those parts of us are being reborn and we are going to recognize the opportunities with open and clear eyes. Many will feel as though they have been released from bondage with regards to relationship and work and these areas will open up for us in the coming months, in the most incredible ways.

We must always trust the part of us that is all knowing. There has to be an integration of consciousness, we must wake up to the truth that each of us is a creator and co-creator. It is time for all to begin to use both logic and intuition to help us to see the world around us; to perceive the world as it really is rather than how it appears to be. This next year will be about finding balance. This is the perfect time to integrate our spiritual nature with our physical nature. Our spiritual and physical 3D aspects “hold two polarities that when balanced and integrated birth love and compassion through creativity and healing.” Healing comes when all aspects of what we have been resisting come into balance. As a result we become more whole, more balanced. Let this be a time to connect our human and divine aspects, because our evolution depends on it. I believe it is paramount to remember that the relationships we have to ourselves and with all of those around us is what is most important. Waking up and becoming aware of the world around us, and not just beginning to notice its fractures but finding the humility within to care enough to want to help, is what in fact will facilitate the change so many of us desire.

Recently I came across countless stories of persons that had preformed heinous acts on themselves and others, only to find out that these individuals had been sick, mentally ill for years without anyone seeing to it that they seek the help needed. When we as a people fail or when insurances, large corporations and governments fail to provide aid for those mentally ill, it falls upon the innocent in one way or another. Working from within the mental health industry, I can tell you one of the main causes individuals are unable to receive the help they need is money. Insurances hold all the power and dictate who gets the help. Regardless of how ill someone is if the insurance companies cannot benefit they will not provide the help needed. I am not the first or the last to say it but the powers in charge use money as a means of control. Money is not the enemy, and any power of manifestation video or audio will explain this. It is more so how we have been conditioned to view and use money that has led us to believe this. Let this be the year we reevaluate the world around us and all the people and living creatures who inhabit it, our programed beliefs with relationships with money, abundance, prosperity and most importantly let this be the time to reevaluate our relationship with ourselves and our intentions so that we may become aligned with our true purposes in life and love. What is a good way to start? If you are someone in need of support, support another. If your desire is to be loved, love others. If you want to be heard, listen to others and finally if you wish to receive, give to others. In adopting these practices we exercise the intention within ourselves and attract it to us just the same. Once we have peace within ourselves the manifestation of unconditional love, prosperity, peace, and balance fills us, allowing it to overflow to all others.

I read about these wonderful ideas online and I am sharing them in hopes that you may consider them as well. I have decided to write 5 things I have left behind in 2012 for the betterment of my mental and physical growth. As well, I have a mason jar for 2013 and when something good happens to me, I will write it on a piece of paper and put it in the jar to read for the next year. So many of us forget, yet when we are reminded of all the good that has come our way we become surprised that we hadn’t remembered. This is a great exercise for the spirit and mind to keep present all the wonderful things that make us happy. When we are present in the moment with gratitude regardless of our current situations, more of what brings us joy and happiness will flow to us.

In this next year, may you manifest an abundance of love, joy, prosperity and peace, more so then ever before!

The following are some links to people and pages that helped to inspire this post, as well as provided the creative ideas:

** Healthy Vibrant You is a holistic health and wellness company. We help our clients set and achieve goals regarding their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.**

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Healthy-Vibrant-You/381747648567846?ref=ts&fref=ts

http://healthyvibrantyou.com/

** An artist, numerologist and sacred geometer dedicated to educating, uplifting and promoting the expansion of consciousness through the study and practice of Numerology and Sacred Geometry.**

http://blueprint4creation.com/

https://www.facebook.com/roz.pape

Love and light to all,
~ Jennifer

Chasing Grace.

 

 

Some answers we seek come to us when we’ve surrendered, when searching is no longer an option and we find ourselves on our knees without an ounce of physical strength or the will of spirit to move.  It is through these times seemingly, between our surrender and silence we come to understand what it is we truly need.

 What about those few questions we have, the recurring ones that seem to stunt us emotionally from time to time?  And is this ever truly the case or are we leaving the questions unanswered for our own psychic purposes?  There are times where the anguish felt followed by our unanswered questions is too much to bare, and yet even through our exhaustion, relinquishing the fight to uncover the answers we so desperately seek to our long awaited questions, is not an option.  It is in these moments that time seems to slow down, if not then stop all together and the quest for answers consumes us.  We may go about our tasks and days but we are constantly internalizing and doing what we can with what we have to find some peace.

Most may disagree, but for me there is poetry in realizing a number of years later, a once thought to be mended heart is in fact only slightly repaired.  Suddenly and sometimes unexpectedly something occurs so many years later that leaves us scurrying to collect the pieces we left behind in our emergence to fix what was fractured in order to move on.  We may not know it at the time but we do this sometimes as a quick fix-me-up, a half assed job at best in order for us to keep going, to accomplish all the things we need to in order to get to where are presently.  Yet what seemingly and most commonly happens with these situations is the unstable thin film we laid over those open wounds some time ago rips and the wounds are once again exposed.  Now what?  Because from the floodgates flow all of those ancient emotions that are all too familiar and once again, undesired.

 I find the difference is we may have thought all those years ago the feelings were unwanted but were they truly?  Because whether we caused the pain or not we sat in it, until we could no longer take it and did what we had to do to move on, or so we thought.  However, this time, the feelings and situation that surround what broke us in the first place, is truly not wanted.  How do I know this?  If it comes back, it isn’t finished.  We repeat our hurts in order to learn our lessons and if there is a recurring pain then there is some unfinished business that will need to be taken care of.  The good news?  We were different people back then, when it all started and these questions were formed.  And so the pain and emotional turmoil we held ourselves in back then no longer serves us, it no longer fits.  The beauty of this?  The choice to throw it away and finally learn our lessons presents itself clearly.  The time to truly mend those old wounds can happen almost instantaneously.  It is in these moments where the answers we have so longingly and desperately seek lie.  This is where both the end and beginning exist, when the cycle is complete and has come full circle.  It may take a day, a week or a month but it won’t take much longer then that because everything has changed. Including us.  The people we are today are emotionally, mentally and physically unable to hold those old patterns, those old energies.

I’ve learned from my own experiences that life’s most meaningful lessons come out of the moments where we are most confused, when we are in most need and it feels like we’ll never have the answers we desire.  It is through our breaking point, that we have a choice to make and it is to acknowledge the answers we so desire have always and forever slept comfortably in the lessons we refused to learn.  Regardless of how painful the truth is, through our epiphany, our moment of truth, we begin to feel as though we have been saved by an act of grace.  When really, the answers always appear after we have done the work from the inside out, and no sooner.  The answers we never thought we would have come to us when we are ready to accept them.  Sometimes these are answers that bring the most pain and discomfort but know that whether it feels like it in the moment, the hurt is temporary.  When we can finally come to terms with our own truth, when we close the door and mend the wounds to the biggest fractures in our lives, it can only mean one thing; some incredible and beautiful happenings are about to follow.

Love and light,
~ Jennifer

Photo credit: © 2012 Jennifer Santaniello

If Lincoln Could Speak What Would He Say?

 

Well, if you are fortunate enough to live in New York City, you could find out for yourself.  The southern plaza section of Union Square Park is home to the Lincoln Statue Monument and from now until Sunday December 9th 2012, it appears Lincoln will have a lot to say, and for all the right reasons.  The public art project “Abraham Lincoln: War Veteran Projection,” by Polish artist Krzysztof Wodizcko features a video projection onto the 142-year-old Lincoln statue, of Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans that have been interviewed for Krzysztof Wodizcko’s “The Veterans Project.”  Some of the projects focus lies within the psychological effects of war, not only on its solders but also to all of those directly connected to veterans who have experienced trauma, including us.   As well, the project touches upon wars political and social ties.   “The Veterans Project“ and Krzysztof Wodizcko’s “Abraham Lincoln: War Veteran Projection” brings to light the harsh truth that the trauma experienced by veterans and their families goes grossly unrecognized.

These veterans host a number of trauma induced mental disorders that would normally prevent them from being able to tell their stories with such depth, yet some how they found the strength enough to come forth.  They are survivors, telling their stories and whether they say it personally or not this is their plea, a plea for all to pay attention regardless of ones stance on war because it affects everyone and everything.   If you happen to be in New York City, you have until Sunday night to view this public art exhibit.   I went with some friends from school and was deeply moved.   Do yourselves a serious justice and see this exhibit in its entirety however possible.   Broaden your awareness and then spread it like wild fire.

The following videos are a few clips I have taken from Krzysztof Wodizcko’s public art exhibit “Abraham Lincoln War Veteran Projection” exhibit.”   Unfortunately, these clips do the public art exhibit absolutely no justice however, I feel it important to be able to present a glimpse into this project.

 

As well, I have included a video of Krzysztof Wodizcko being interviewed in 2010.   He mentions the start of “The Veterans Project,” which eventually led to the “Abraham Lincoln: War Veteran Projection.”

Love and light,

~ Jennifer

**Photo credit: Maria Niro on Vimeo.**

http://www.moreart.org/artists/krzysztof-wodiczko/

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall.

Mirror Neurons and Pattern Recognition

The Science of Emotion

“Em·pa·thy is the capacity to recognize feelings that are being experienced by another sentient or semi-sentient (in fiction writing) being. Someone may need to have a certain amount of empathy before they are able to feel compassion.”

Many are mislead in believing empathy and compassion are one in the same, but that is truly not the case.  It is possible for one to be able to empathize yet still feel no compassion.  For example, a person who remains within a physical or emotionally abusive relationship, some may empathize as to why but still be unable to hold compassion for someone who refuses to seek help for him or herself.  It is common in these cases, especially the most extreme where compassion is needed but I find through my work that some within the general public adopt the belief of “Why should I feel sorry for someone who refuses to help themselves?”  Compassion is the virtue of empathy for the suffering of others. It is regarded as a fundamental part of human love. Compassion means, “to suffer together with” and so in order for an individual to feel compassion one must first feel empathetic towards another and their circumstances.  Those lacking the skill to feel compassion through empathy are commonly diagnosed with Schizophrenia or disorders such as in persons with extreme cases of Borderline Personality Disorder.

I truly believe our existence here is equally spiritual as it is scientific.  I do not believe we could exist with one and not the other.  With that said I would like first, to go a bit deeper into the biology and process of our emotions, specifically what is called Mirror Neurons and Pattern Recognition.  A Mirror Neuron is a neuron that fires both when a person/animal acts and when they observe the same action performed by another.  The neuron “mirrors” the behavior of the other, as though the observer were itself acting.  Many researchers in cognitive neuroscience and cognitive psychology consider that this system provides the physiological mechanism for the perception action coupling.  Some argue that mirror neurons may be important for understanding the actions of other people, and for learning new skills by imitation, theory of mind skills and  language abilities.  However, Neuroscientists such as Marco Iacoboni (UCLA) have argued that mirror neuron systems in the human brain help us understand the actions and intentions of other people.  In addition, Iacoboni has argued that mirror neurons are the neural basis of the human capacity for emotions such as empathy.  Let’s take for example, the relationship between a mother and child.  A baby learns through repetition.  Through the first months of life a child learns that if it cries its needs will be met, or not.  That depends on the baby’s life situation.  Either way, this is how the baby begins to understand emotion.  If a child gets a scratch the child’s learned behavior depends on their mothers reaction to the situation.  The child learns what emotions are “safe” in connection and as a response to what they are feeling.  If a common reaction for a mother is to over react and become agitated and nervous, screaming and reprimands the child then the child will learn that when he is hurt, it is not ok to show his pain or emotion.  However, if a mothers common reaction is to be compassionate and dotting, the child will learn that pain comes and goes and that it is ok to seek the aid he needs while expressing his fear, pain and emotion.  These learned behaviors are perceived through emotion, are mirrored and patterns are formed.

Mirror Neurons are crucial in order for us to empathize and form compassion, and so they are credited to our sustaining a highly functioning compassionate society.  If mirror neurons are a the base for our ability to feel empathetic along with other emotions, then our capacity to mirror must also help to create maladaptive behavior or counter productivity and emotion, for example the child whose emotions are stunted by an unstable mother.  Pattern recognition by the nervous system implies that the firing of specific neurons trigger specific emotions.   Science has reported that this occurs when a person experiences disgust, happiness, or pain. The same regions are activated, when they see another person experience the emotion.

The mirror network has been reported to be sensitive to perceived pain.   Pain cells in the human will normally fire when a person is hurt.   Researchers found that those cells will also fire when the person watches another experiencing pain.   The neuron in the observer “mirrored” the pain of the other.  So, when pain cells fire, a person experiences pain.   The same cells fire to make you experience imagined pain.  However, you yourself are not experiencing the pain first hand, it is imagined.  Upon soaking in this information I asked myself “How much of what we say, feel and do is ours and how much of it is a mirror?”  Obviously, if we are watching a gymnast perform a split and it causes a pained reaction and we gasp, we know enough that the mirrored pain is not our own, it is imagined.  But what if we were to look at the full spectrum of emotion and just how much our emotion fuels our passion and life and how our emotion manifest physically.  Really how we digest and we process our emotions is dependent upon our own individual cognitive behavioral patterns.  Cognitive behavior refers to our everyday function – remember, respond and so on. Usually, they are logical, learned things however abstract thinking comes into it.   Recognizing consequences of behavior is thought to develop as people grow older and can envision what might happen and avoid behavior that would cause it.  Yet, we all know this is dependent on the growth of an individual.  Right now, as you read this I am positive you can think of a few persons that have yet to develop a healthy recognition of their own behavior, resulting in stunted growth whether it is mentally, physically or spiritually.  Cognitive behavior is thinking behavior. There is also a form of therapy called Cognitive Behavior Therapy, which teaches you how to use thinking to change your behavior and mental health. The cognitive behavior is meant to be a meaningful behavior. The behavior has to produce a meaningful action useful to people.

Even so, with those of us that are able to produce behavior and action that are meaningful to others, and ourselves how much of our emotions and our intention behind our actions are our own?  How much of our emotion and our functioning is ours as opposed to the mirror of our environment and learned patterns?  The human mind contains powerful regions, which sense the behavior of those within its environment.   The process is supported by massive memories and myriad analytical subsystems.   Behavior pattern recognition enables the human mind to understand events as well enabling a person to comprehend the intentions, emotions and actions of people, without reasoning out these processes. They just know.  But, what if someone is acting on an old pattern?  When emotions resurface or reappear that have never truly gone away, how much of this is pattern?

It is the same for sound and speech.  It is no coincidence, that when you hear a particular voice of someone you know, certain emotions are automatically triggered.  Pay attention to this and observe, as when there is a particular person that may annoy you talks to you, your emotion and body language will change.  This is because pattern recognition feeds data to Mirror Neurons and you have connected a specific emotion to this specific voice, most likely an annoyed or agitated emotion.  Our voices are like our fingerprints, there are no two of the same and so if you were to go 4 years without hearing a particular voice, in hearing it again, all the mirrors and patterns connected to that voice would resurface.  Same goes for someone in love, when a person hears the voice of someone they love, voice pattern recognition feeds data to Mirror Neurons and all the emotions connected to their voice erupt.  Now, what happens when the relationship or situation of a neuron connection that was created in love, turns to something else?  How much of what remains is truth, will the voices of those we love or have loved always hold connectivity?  I can only assume that for those who answer no, it is the ability to re-program new neurological connections and pathways through self-cognitive therapy that is the answer.  A great example of this is the moment a person realizes they are better off without a specific person and is able to cut ties and never look back.   But how about in situations that do not appear to be as cut and dry?  Where patterns and a connection remain unchanged even though environments have shifted or changed through time.  Is it neurological? Behavioral?  Or is it something science can never explain?  Perhaps this is where spirit picks up and science leaves off.   I was never interested in the dissection of emotion, it felt unnecessary, cold and disconnected to me, but I cannot deny my undying curiosity into the science of emotion.  As humans, our capacity and ability to feel is limitless and so who knows, maybe this is my own attempt to explain some of the mystery and power behind my own emotions.

We are biological as much as we are spirit and so no one can deny the truths, that regardless of the science behind emotion, what we feel is real to each of us regardless of how it is formed.  It is up to us individually to decide if what we are feeling is our own or if in fact if it is a mirror or a learned pattern of some kind that serves us or needs to be disabled and rewired. Through my own life experiences, my advice wouldn’t necessarily be to run to the library and learn about every scientific bodily process, but more so to create and put forth emotion and actions that carry the best parts of you because I believe we all hold a responsibility to self and to others to do so.  If we are true to ourselves, listen to what it is our body and our minds “tell” us, regardless of whether we know the science behind it or not, our emotion will self regulate regardless of the situation.  Everything has its time, until then, just keep feeling it out.  🙂

♥ All of my love and light ♥

~ Jennifer

You Are Already There.

In what seems to be our most pivotal moments it can be difficult to tell if we have reached an end or a beginning.  However, each and every one of us deep down inside knows.  It’s our truth and how we choose to digest and process these truths is as unique to each of us as our fingerprints.  There’s a part of us that completely understands the ending and the beginning are one in the same.

Our answers lay within our perspective and so our experience of time shifts depending on where we place our focus.  So many of us are yearning, aching for that new energy, that new beginning, for the manifestation, the fruition of all of our hard work, all of those seeds we have planted with regards to self, love, career, fiance, joy and life, conscious or unconscious.  Whether you were recently affected by hurricane Sandy as I was, whether you have lost your job or lost a “love” or loved one, even if you yourself are ill mentally, physically or both resist the urge to slow down.  Yes, please be compassionate with yourself but do not see these experiences as having left you defeated.  Keep going.  Don’t let anyone tell you that you haven’t made huge strides or that you aren’t exactly who you should be or where you are supposed to be.

It may feel as though you have pulled a 180 or it may feel as though someone has pressed the pause button and you are moving in slow motion, but try to remember that direction is a 3D experience.  Keep moving no matter the pace.

You are already there.

♥All of my love and light ♥

~ Jennifer

Our Lives Are Not Our Own.

“Our lives are not our own, we are bound to others, past and present. And by each crime, and every kindness, we birth our future.”

What can be truer then the quote above?  In learning of our oneness, our eternal connection to one another, I was able to find my own divinity.   We are all intrinsically connected at our very core, which is pure, limitless, unconditional love.  From infancy and well into the first part of our young adult lives we have been shaped by our circumstances and experiences, yet there comes a time when we realize we have choices and that those choices ultimately lead us to who is we are to become.  Every act of kindness we expel shapes us, and so it is for every other act, good or bad.  How does one define what is good or bad, right and wrong?  Is it by intuition? Instinct?  Is it something we have been taught or is it a mixture of all of the above?  Can an individual be a good person and do something bad yet remain a good person, if their offense is a one time occurrence or perhaps a second time?  Is it all perception, as with everything else in life?  I truly believe that it is in the absence of this belief, the belief that at our core we are love, we are magnificent, we are all we need, and that we are pure, that leads to a disregard for life.  It is the illusion that we are separate, that we are alone and inadequate, that leaves room and allows anything other than love to enter and ultimately control our thoughts, feelings, emotions, perception and our actions.  When we forget who we are, we forget each other and this makes it easy, so very easy to commit acts of desperation, cruelty and malice towards one another and ourselves, without understanding the severity and complexity of our actions until it is too late.

“Tragedy (Ancient Greek: τραγῳδία, tragōidia, “he-goat-song”[1]) is a form of drama based on human suffering that invokes in its audience an accompanying catharsis or pleasure in the viewing.[2] While many cultures have developed forms that provoke this paradoxical response, the term tragedy often refers to a specific tradition of drama that has played a unique and important role historically in the self-definition of Western civilization.

A dramatic composition, often in verse, dealing with a serious or somber theme, typically that of a great person destined through a flaw of character or conflict with some overpowering force, as fate or society, to downfall or destruction.”

Although the degrees of which a person may define a Tragedy may vary, there is no denying its wrath when it so chooses to strike.  Are Tragedies just some other type of scene, on this enormous stage we call life?  A scene for us to observe, to process and digest, a way that wakes us up and rips us open and says, “HERE I AM, and this is what happens when I am ignored!!!!!!!!”  Are these Tragic scenes just another way for us to take away our individual lessons, as painful as they can be?  Of course we empathize and feel endless compassion for those affected by Tragedy in its many forms and yet it may seem easier to swallow, the idea that these horrible things happen for us to observe and learn from.  But, what happens when the Tragedy hits home?  This week, Tragedy struck a little bit too close to home for me.  Thankfully, not within my immediate circle of family or friends, but just outside of it and involving a person I have had the privilege to see almost everyday for the last four years.

What seemed like a normal workday on Monday quickly turned into a roller coaster of emotions including confusion, frustration, anger, denial and deep, deep sadness.  Through the course of the day we were notified that our co-worker, “M” would not be coming back to work, ever.  Out of respect for the persons involved in this Tragedy, I will spare much detail however I will say that “M” preformed a heinous, incomprehensible and unimaginable act upon someone she loves.  In fact it is the person she loved most in this world.  So, how does that work?  How is that possible?!?!  These types of questions are what’s commenly asked after such a Tragedy.  Please point me in the direction of any one person that has the answer, because I would love to hear their opinion.  My opinion?  Well, it’s complicated and simple all at the same time.  On 3D earthly level, these individuals involved in this tragedy acted upon an accumulation of the conditioning of their past and current life circumstances.  “M” was coping the best way she knew how, with the resources she was equiped from a young age, along with the abilities she picked up along her life span.  Ultimately, it wasn’t enough, and she had a break which lead to Tragedy for her and all those she loves.  Now, if we were to examine the Tragedy from a higher consciousness, 5^th dimension or higher, I’d say this was the path these two souls mapped out for each other and agreed to before incarnating into this current life, a continuation of their present karmic ties and lessons needed.  3D earthly level of existance = complicated and intricate, 5th dimension and higher level of consciousness = not so complicated!

 I found with the news came a flood of questions.  Were there signs I missed?  Should we have seen this coming?  Had she called out for help and no one listened?  Is she scared, is she alone?  Is she manic? How can I help?  And then came the questions that seem to harness the most confusion.  Questions like, why do I empathize and have such compassion for someone who committed such a heinous act?  If it were anyone else, someone I hadn’t known, would I feel the same?  Would I want to pass judgment and throw insults as opposed to wanting to run up and hug them until they remember?  Because that is what I want to do.  It has been three days and it still feels like I just received the news within this very moment.  I can’t stop thinking about it.  I feel a bit drained and dazed over it all.  If I had to speculate, I’d say “M” believed in her heart (and at the time, diseased psych) that she and her loved one would be better off in another place, somewhere not of this world.  A just and fair place, a place filled with love, understanding, community, safety, and compassion.  A place where she could be heard, where her and her loved one could live in harmony without interruption or fear or a sense of inadequacy and defeat.  Perhaps the biggest Tragedy of all in this situation is that all of what “M” needed was here the whole time.  All that she needed was right where she left it, deep down inside.  It is the belief, the understanding that no matter how heartbreaking life can seem, there is always a reason and that it is so crucial, so important and so beneficial to see it through!  So many are unable to see past their own hurt, they are unable to understand that this world does not lack all of the things we need, in fact there is an abundance of it, and more, just waiting to be tapped into.  What saddened me the most here, is that “M” couldn’t see it, she couldn’t see that truth.

If you need help, seek it.  If you know someone who needs help, give it and if you can’t provide them the help they need help them to find it.  But, also remember, we can only help others to the extent of which they will allow.  As for “M”, She may not have been in her right mind at the time, but at some point, maybe many, there were times for her to seek help and so at the end of the day her tragedy is a scene she helped to create, a scene we are meant to observe and learn from.  The lessons here are endless but if I had to pluck a few from a hundred?  Remember that you are love; you are divine and magnificent and that you have everything you need right there inside of you.  Everything happens in its own time and for a reason, the best really.  Nothing is ever final, we are continuous and there is nothing in life that can ruin you unless you allow it to.  If “M” would have stepped back, or even sought help from another and realized she had options, maybe her story wouldn’t have become so Tragic.  If there is something in life that you feel could end you or be your demise, reexamine.  There are answers in everything, nothing is what it seems and there is always, always a light to our dark.

I wish peace for all souls involved is this Tragedy; may your hearts find peace.

“I believe there is another world waiting for us, a better world and I will be waiting for you there.”

I have included some links below of organizations providing help and refuge.

♥ All of my love and light ♥

Namaste

~ Jennifer

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

http://www.twloha.com/vision/

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_prevention.htm

http://www.lifecounseling.org/about_us.html

**Image courtesy: http://deography.com/?tag=the-triumph-and-tragedy-of-being-human**